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Bird-Hunting in Downtown Cincinnati

by Jodie on September 26th, 2007

You’d think a group of pigeons would be no match for a team of tigers and their entourage. Not so in downtown Cincinnati.

It seems there is, to put it euphemistically, a “pigeon problem” at Paul Brown Stadium, home of the Bengals. “Would you like fries with that?” has been swapped out for “Would you prefer pigeon droppings in your food, beverage, or both?” Ooh, hope no one was eating or drinking while reading that. Sorry, I must remember to put watch-out-or-you’ll-toss-your-cookies warnings in these posts. But now that you’re up to speed . . . The abundance of feathered friends is such an issue that city and stadium officials are pooling their PowerPoints in search of a solution. One suggestion that must have animal rights activists all over Ohio sporting matching crankypants is to substitute real pigeons for clay pigeons, if you catch my drift.

I prefer the other solutions proposed thus far—strobe lights, noisemakers, and fake owls—because you know that somewhere in the world, there is a nightclub exactly like that. And if there isn’t, there should be.

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POSTED IN: Football, Miscellaneous

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